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Live from the Suburbs
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Date:2006-07-23 21:43
Subject:
Security:Public

This page has been condemned by the City Management Committee.

The organization once housed by this ramshackled old site now has a new address. They can be found at http://paintedwall.vox.com.

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Date:2006-07-12 21:26
Subject:
Security:Public

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now. I don't watch much TV these days. I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses. I love to play video games. × I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies. × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.  (Actually, sometimes isn't even the half of it.) I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
it goes on...Collapse )

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Date:2006-07-03 18:17
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood:bitchy

Fourth of July weekend can be a pain, a hassle, an annoyance, a bother, an aggravation, a fuss, a headache, an inconvenience, an irritation, a strain, and a nuisance. For some, it is just simply a problem. For others, it can be a dangerous experience where the pain is all too literal. The only deciding factor is how large the fireworks are that you buy. The bigger the flame, the bigger your testicles are sure to look to your annoyed neighbor who is, God forbid, attempting to sleep at 12am.

Parents give their kids bottle rockets, firecrackers and sparklers to blow off, burn off, or blast off their poor phalanges and then retreat to their own backyards where they have the grill fired up and the huge hunks of meat cooking in a fashion similar to the cooking of their childrens' appendages. Of course the alcohol is flowing, from bottles into iced glasses and from iced glasses into throats, from throats to stomachs and from stomachs into bloodstream. The parents will have their own firework related fun, but that will be much later and in a much looser state of being. And by looser, I mean more drunk. Fireworks can only be truly appreciated when the danger is increased by two or even four fold.

Now, this may sound like my own personal tirade against fireworks, and in some ways it is. I feel that fireworks are just another male display of testerone dating back to our earlier ape ancestors. Only our ape ancestors would display by hitting branches on the ground and beating their chests, still potentially dangerous, but somehow... less. As time went on, the displays got larger and more extravagant. They even gained the potential of blowing a hand off. Let's give one last Hurrah! for evolution.

No, no, this is not simply about the fireworks that appear suddenly two weeks before July Fourth, and then disappear just as suddenly a week after. This is about the people who have decided to make this weekend the one weekend of summer that is appropriate for a mass life reunion.

Hey honey! Let's invite all of the people we don't really talk to anymore to our house this weekend! That way, we only have to waste one weekend on all these schmucks and they won't quite grasp that we are ignoring them for the other 51 weekends of the year.

The conversation is as dry as the people. You have your how's. "How are you?", "How's your wife?", "How are the kids?", "How is the dog?", "How is the business?". Then you have the pseudo-specific drivel. "Congratulation on your child graduating from high school.", "Congratulations on the promotion.", "I'm sorry to hear that your mother is in the hospital." And then everyone goes on and on about themselves until the sun goes down and the more fiery festivities can begin. And even when the sky is a-light with sparking gunpowder, someone always manages to throw in some little brag about their kid.

My kid got straight A's this year, and has been inducted into the National Honor Society. He is on the fast-track to becoming valedictorian.

For a moment, I sat here and though about writing briefly, yet desriptively about someone punching that person. I mean just clocking them, right in the nose, the kind of punch where it takes a second for the blood to start flowing, but everyone knows that it is inevitable. This scenario, of course, would be unrealistic, and the blast of the gunpowder in the sky would muffle what would be the only quick retort.

Well, my girl was valedictorian.

---rd

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Date:2006-06-27 20:25
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood:restless

I have a headache,
I have a sore back.


Of course, that is not the entire lyric, nor is it the most important part of said lyric, but when John K. Sampson utters those words on the second song of the first Weakerthans album, I certainly know how he feels. Especially right now.

I need to quit keeping myself up so late. Working an eight hour day on only four hours of sleep is not the most pleasant of experiences. In fact, it is downright horrible. But why complain? I only did it to myself. Meaning that, when I struggling to lift a small pair of hedge clippers high over my head, I only had myself to blame. And that, my friends, only works to make a bad day worse.

It's no use trying to nap around here, either. There is always something. "Ryan, move your car," were the words tonight that brought me out of peaceful slumber. Doing so woke me up just enough so that I couldn't get back to sleep. Which, inevitably, brings me to livejournal to whine and complain. I'm sure you're all very much interested in the mundane details of my life. I do it for you, you know.

I tried to actually contact a friend from home tonight, but, ironically, the one time I do try and go out, my friend isn't home. That'll teach me to try and stop being a shut in. I kind of LIKE being a shut in. I don't have to deal with anyone but over the phone. People are easier handle over the phone. I suppose I should make some effort to go and do something, but it just seems like such a hassle. Plus, what am I going to do, go to coffee with everyone I know? It's all I know how to do around here. I suppose I could take people to the East Side, but really, who wants to go on an adventure with me?

I really need to go back to school. It seems I've left my life back on campus. I really should go and retrieve it.

You know what? I'm not coming home next summer. This is not at all worth it.

rd

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Date:2006-06-26 20:20
Subject:
Security:Public

Well, I guess I want some of you to read this. It hurt to write.

O, pretty,
I feel your touch;
It scratched down my back.
Blood, blood, you reek of love,
Subtle art of poison touch.
Sudden dark of shutters shut.
Sullen heart of winter love.

O, golden,
Condemned alone;
Pace bruised-black halls alone.
Ring, ring, it's me again,
Show my face in blurring rain.
Catch my voice in stunning frame.
I'm sorry for your pain.

O, sweetness,
Time heals (heels) all wounds.
Adage experience fails.
Pain, pain was all that came,
Silver blade of razor fame.
Piercing peace (piece) serene again.
Don't leave me and I'll stay.

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Date:2006-06-19 17:09
Subject:
Security:Public

Leave your name and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.

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Date:2006-06-14 19:26
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood:exhausted

I suppose the summer would be an appropriate occasion to add an actual entry to this piece of junk, and so, I offer you this.

Summer has come, school has gone. And while elementary through high school days found the summer with glee, I now feel less than enthused about the three month hiatus. Really, there are only about 2 people that I want to see here, and one of them is not picking up her phone. I spend at least two hours on the phone per day with someone from Lawrence; I suppose I am refusing to let go of those last few remaining strings. I am back in Grafton. Lawrence is three months away.

I have many weekend escapes planned to remove myself from the suburbs that I reside in: at least two Minneapolis trips, a Cleveland trip, a Chicago trip, and a road trip to Lexington, KY when the summer begins to let its weary head fall.

I've become the working man. I once heard a story told about how the term "redneck" came to be. Apparently, when farmers used to work out in the hot sun all day, plowing fields, planting seeds, etc, they would get rather bad sunburn on the backs of their necks, thus becoming the first "rednecks." Somehow the term later got applied to ignorant folks o' the hills, but orginally it was farmers who donned the name. Well, if you look at the back of my neck, it is viciously red from a combination of the sun and the stupid mistake of not putting on sunblock. And, by the farmer story's logic, I am a redneck. Hell hasn't seen a blizzard like this in years.

As for what my job is, I do 8 hours of manual labor five days a week for $10/hr. And yes, this is good money, and no, I shouldn't be complaining, but I hate this job. I'm losing my mind spending entire days not thinking about anything. But that's how life goes sometimes. You take what it throws at you.

As for other topics, I seem to be all intact. All of my limbs were there the last time I counted, my brain hasn't exploded, and all of my senses work (though I am working on killing my hearing. Giving me an iPod to listen to all day will do that.). I do a full body/mind check from time to time to make sure I am surviving. Seems okay so far.

Hope you all are enjoying your summers. I certainly am not. May school start again soon.

---RD

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Date:2006-05-31 22:02
Subject:
Security:Public

If you're still around, I'd like to know who Mr./Ms. Anonymous was that was commenting on my journal entries around Feb of 2003.

If you are someone I know personally and still have access/read this journal, you should really come forward. I'd like to know.

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Date:2006-05-31 18:23
Subject:
Security:Public

List ten (10) things you want to say, but never have, to ten (10) different people. Do not state who these people are. Do not confirm or deny any 'comment speculation'.

1) I hate what you did to my life.
2) I've always loved you.
3) Fuck off. You're more immature than even I am.
4) You don't need to flip out at the drop of a hat.
5) You have a drinking problem.
6) Take me seriously. Please. You never do.
7) I think that you getting back into drugs is incredibly stupid.
8) I know that you don't have it all figured out. I can see it.
9) You're the most amazing person I have ever met.
10) You need to take some time off from dealing with other people's problems and figure out your own.

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Date:2006-05-22 22:05
Subject:
Security:Public

ryanisunfunny (10:04:24 PM): And to be honest, to completely give over every emotion you have to someone only to be cast off, well, that hurts for a long time, because you really start to feel like there's something wrong with you.

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Date:2006-04-06 13:03
Subject:
Security:Public

I've finally realized something.

All the while, I looked for someone whose lyrics touched me as much as Blake Schwartzenbach's. And all the while he was right under my nose: John K. Samson.

What an amazing lyricist.

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Date:2006-03-11 18:14
Subject:
Security:Public

Fuck whoever left the God damned station and locked it so I couldn't get in and couldn't broadcast my fucking radio show. Douchebags.

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Date:2006-02-21 17:38
Subject:
Security:Public

As much as this won't mean to you, I seriously hope that I didn't ruin your evening. Not that I'd ever tell you that. Or talk to you for the next two weeks.

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Date:2006-02-21 16:06
Subject:
Security:Public

Fuck you. I've done nothing wrong.

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Date:2006-02-08 18:02
Subject:
Security:Public

Damn. The Gainsville punk scene is so fucking good. SO FUCKING GOOD. Sometimes, I just want to move down there. Yeah.

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Date:2006-02-04 23:38
Subject:
Security:Public

You'll be the first to judge, the first to cast doubt,
The first to point fingers and the first to bail out.
King of the drama circus. Craving the spotlight.
Bottom feeding off our efforts. Fucking parasite!

So don't talk until you take a walk in my Chucks.
What the fuck? I guess you're shit out of luck.

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Date:2006-02-01 14:35
Subject:
Security:Public

Well, at least at this point I know that I am alive.

Let's live existentially. Revel in our pain.

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Date:2006-01-27 03:49
Subject:
Security:Public

It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live.
What's so easy in the moonlight by the morning never is.

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Date:2006-01-25 20:03
Subject:
Security:Public

Why can't you just take a fucking chance on me, just once? I hate you for giving up before it even has a chance to begin.

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Date:2006-01-19 00:12
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood:amused

Oh Sarah, thank you for the simple nudge towards getting me to update this little fucker again.

I'm working mostly in a paper journal now. But that doesn't mean I can't still be cryptic and pretensious here, too. Hey, paper journals are for how I REALLY feel, right? This is for that psycho-babble nonsense that I want everyone else to see.

I'm not nearly as unstable as I come off in this thing. Just so everyone knows. Livejournal is for drama. Livejournal is for the movie character life that I don't live, but want to. And Livejournal is forgetting that there is any good in life at all.

So expect more of the same old shit. But take it with a grain of salt. I'm not really as unhappy as I want you to think I am.

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